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In last week’s Torah portion, we read about the first confrontation between Moshe and Pharaoh, where Moshe demands that Pharaoh free the Jews from the Egyptian bondage. This request upset Pharaoh greatly and caused him to intensify the workload on the Jewish people. As a result of this, Moshe confronts God and asks Him “…why have You done evil to this people…?” [Exodus: 5: 22] Only a few verses after this does our parshah start off, where the very first verse says:

“God spoke (Vayedaber Elokim) to Moshe and said (Vayomer) to him ‘I am God (Hashem)’ ” [Exodus: 6: 2]

It is well known that there is more than one Hebrew word used to describe speech. One kind of speech is described as “Vayedaber” (Hebrew root: דבר), which represents a very harsh manner of communicating with someone else. Another way the Hebrew language describes speech is “Vayomer” (Hebrew root: אמר), which connotes a softer and more delicate form of talking.
It is also well known that God goes by more than one name. The name “Elokim” always relates to God’s divine attribute of strict justice, while the name “Hashem” represents God’s divine characteristic of love and mercy.

The words “God spoke” at the start of our verse (above) are written in Hebrew as “Vayedaber Elokim”. When the Torah uses both “Vayedaber” (the harsh tone of speech) and “Elokim” (God’s attribute of strict justice) together in one phrase, it illustrates that God is speaking in a very stringent manner. What prompted God to speak to Moshe in such a severe fashion?

Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzhaqi, 1040-1105, famed as the author of the first comprehensive commentaries on the Torah) explains that God was rebuking Moshe for his previous complaint at the end of last week’s parshah (“Why have You done evil to this people?”).

However, it is very interesting to note that our verse (above) is not the actual beginning of God’s response to Moshe after his complaint! Just one verse before the one we quoted above (in the final verse of last week’s parshah), the Torah says:

“God said (Vayomer Hashem) to Moshe “Now you will see what I shall do to Pharaoh…” [Exodus: 6: 1]

In this verse, the Torah uses both “Vayomer” (the soft tone of speech) and “Hashem” (God’s attribute of loving kindness), which are the opposites of “Vayedaber” and “Elokim”! This implies that God was in fact speaking to Moshe in a kind and loving manner, which contradicts what we’ve said thus far! This “problem” is highlighted even further if we were to examine our verse (quoted at the top of the page) a little closer: Although it first starts off with “Vayedbar Elokim”, the verse ends with the words “Vayomer” and “Hashem” as well! So what’s going on!? Was God treating Moshe harshly or kindly?

Without a doubt, as Rashi said, God was rebuking Moshe for his complaint. But, in life, there are always two ways to go about rebuking someone: either the hard way or the soft way.

Upon discovering that someone you know (a family member, a friend, a spouse…) has made a mistake or has sinned, there is an important obligation upon you to let him know of the wrong he committed. The incorrect approach would be to become enraged at the person, screaming at them and warning them of the punishment they deserve (this is even if their sin was directed towards you!). Rather, the proper way would be to sit the person down gently and explain to them their misdeed, and even help them decide how they can prevent the mistake from happening again. Although you are disciplining the individual, you must approach them with love, and not with harshness

Therefore, the verse describing God’s rebuke toward Moshe is viewed as if it is couched between words of love and warmth. Since it is our duty to emulate God’s ways, for indeed we were made “in the image of God” [Genesis: 1: 27], we must follow in His ways and carry out discipline in the same manner in which He has displayed. We must always remember that the love comes before the rebuke (*See footnote*). If it does happen that someone has wronged you and you are truly enraged, do not rebuke them while your anger resides within you! Take some time to cool down and generate a calm mindset, and only then speak to the person.

What we must take from this lesson is that the act of rebuke is meant not to push someone away, but to bring them closer to us and ultimately to God.

Good Shabbos,

NZL

*It is this very concept that prompted the Rabbis to say that upon rebuking someone, we must push away with our left (weaker) hand while pulling in with our right (stronger) hand. In this fashion, one confers the message of discipline upon the individual, but at the same time lets them know that you are acting out of genuine love.