I had a simple, yet profound, experience the other day.
If you’ve been to South Africa, or if you read Madam & Eve, you’ll know that one of the things that characterizes life in South Africa is the ’street vendors’, the guys who stand at street corners, in the middle of the road, trying to sell you wire hangers, newspapers, little people and bicycles made of wire, and many other things, or just begging for a few coins or for something to eat. Huge unemployment makes these common sights.
A bit of a twist on the usual is where a guy will offer you a service, which you’re expected to pay for. This can be cleaning your windscreen as you wait at a robot (the South African term for traffic lights), or holding out a big black bag for you to throw your rubbish into. As I mentioned, you’re expected to give the man a bit of money in exchange for the service he has made available to you.
I was in my car the other day, waiting at a robot, when a man with a black bag approached my car. I am generally quite free with giving out money to people who are collecting at a robot, but for some reason, that day I didn’t feel like getting out my wallet, finding a coin, opening my window, etc. I was in a rush to get somewhere for Shabbat, and I was focused on my travel route and the traffic. But I mentally nudged myself, and thought, why not just give the guy something. So I found a coin, and opened my window. As I gave the man the money, he said to me, “Thank you. My business has been quite slow today.” I said something in reply, and drove off.
As I drove off, I was suddenly bowled over by what the man had said to me. Of all people, doing any kind of work to earn a bit of money to support themselves between now and tomorrow, to call what they are doing a business, this man, effectively (to my mind) just a step up from a beggar, would come right near the bottom of my list. I simply did not expect him to think of himself as a businessman, and of his day’s work as a business. I suddenly realized that I had been privileged to interact with this man. He had such a positive outlook, such a confidence in himself, that was, to me, so unexpected. He was in such a lowly position, and yet he viewed himself with pride and with dignity.
When we talk about humility and arrogance, about self-denigration and self-confidence, concepts that often seem to be blurred and mixed with each other, we have a wonderful example to unblur the confusion. Here is a man who seems to be lowly and downtrodden, but upon closer inspection, we see that he is filled with pride; pride for himself, and pride for what he is achieving and accomplishing in his life; with what he has been given. This is the ultimate humility, and can be no further from arrogance. Humility doesn’t mean that you look at yourself as the lowest of the low. It means that you see yourself for what you truly are, with true and honest appreciation for your talents and abilities and for the good that you accomplish in the world. It also means that, in the light of honesty and truth, you see all your limitations, failures and weaknesses. But it certainly does not mean that you see yourself as rubbish… this is false humility, and is a very dangerous and destructive mindset to have…
I was privileged to meet a wonderful, proud, humble human being, at the robot the other day…
Photo from this page
I looked over the highway, directly across at the place opposite from where I stood. I still had to walk all the way round to the bridge, and then cross the bridge, to get to that spot. And only then would I be in the right neighbourhood, and my journey could continue. I asked myself at that instant, ‘If there’s one place you could be, where would that be?’ The immediate answer was, ‘Right there! Just across the bridge. I’d skip walking round to the bridge, and then crossing the bridge, and I’d be right at that spot over there.’ But just a second, I said to myself. That’s not really where I want to go. My final destination is the shop over in the neighbourhood, not that spot across the bridge! In fact, if I could really choose to ’skip’ out any part of my journey, I’d skip it all, and be back home with all my shopping in one second’s time! (more…)
